Many many dominant women complain a lot about how much femdom porn sucks and how men who watch too much of it end up with ridiculous ideas about what they can expect from dominant women. To be clear, most femdom porn is fucking awful and men who probably weren’t all that bright in the first place do get ridiculous ideas from it. That said, there is such a thing as porn women actually like and it’s not just the lack of realism that makes so many of us hate average femdom porn so much.
Porn for women is a thing. Have you ever read a romance novel? No seriously, have you read any? If you have, you know where I’m going with this 🙂 Yeah, women are fucking filthy. Some romance novels are really explicit. No, more than that. They’re full on porn, just in words instead of pictures. And no, they’re not realistic, that’s entirely beside the point.
Here are the
two three big differences between porn that women actually like and porn that women can’t fucking stand:
- The women in romance novels are relatable – sometimes they feel uncertain, unsure of themselves, they occasionally have flaws and bad days and make mistakes
- Romance novels answer the question “why should I give a fraction of a shit that these two people are fucking?”
- At least some romance novels aren’t openly insulting to women.
That’s pretty much it. High bar, huh.
Oh if you want to be picky there’s usually something at least vaguely appealing about the male love interest. Why yes, women do experience desire. We just don’t experience desire for stupid bullshit that someone who has never spoken with an actual woman thinks we’re probably supposed to want, he guesses.
If you want to make porn that doesn’t send women screaming, read a fucking romance novel. I’m not saying none of them are profoundly fucking problematic, of course they are. Read a few of them, and look for commonalities. One of the big things you’re going to see is some actual emotions. If I don’t care about any of the characters, I sure don’t care that they’re fucking. It’s also nice if the characters actually seem to be attracted to each other and having a good time while they’re getting it on.
One of the things I hate most about shitty femdom porn is the baffling popularity of bitchy ice queen doms who don’t seem to be having any fun. If I was having that bad of a time slapping a guy around, I would call red and go home to play videogames. Seriously, you want me to relate to a woman who clearly wants to go the fuck home and put her feet up? Okay I do relate to her, but not in a sexy way. If I’m going to watch porn rather than read it, I prefer gay porn. I’d even rather watch maledom porn most of the time because at least everyone is willing to fake being happy to be there.
One of the things I find most insulting about the majority of femdom porn is the idea that I’m supposed to believe that a woman who clearly takes no personal enjoyment whatsoever in what she’s doing is actually in charge. No dude, if she was in charge she’d be doing literally anything else. That annoys me so badly I had to go back up and change my two big differences between porn women like and porn we can’t fucking stand to three big differences.
It is honestly not that fucking hard to make porn women like, the problem is that to do that you have to believe women are people and frankly that’s a bridge too far for many, many men. If you believe that we’re people, then it follows that our wants and needs both exist and matter. If you start from there you can’t help but make porn women like. Only a subset of us, of course, because we are not a motherfucking hive mind seriously what does it take to get that through you fucker’s heads, but you will undoubtedly make stuff women like if you start by assuming we’re people.
And the next time you hear about how much women hate porn in general or femdom porn in particular, just mentally translate that into “shitty porn” and “openly insulting femdom porn.”