This may come as a terrible shock to some of you, but kinky people ARE STILL PEOPLE. We have interests that have nothing to do with our kinks. We have opinions that have nothing to do with our kinks. We have hobbies that have nothing to do with our kinks. We interact with lots of people in ways that have nothing to do with our kinks (pipe down, Lord Captain Sir Domly Dom. You are as polite as everyone else when the cops pull you over).

It just makes me want to throw things when people act like all I am is my kinks. I’m a human fucking being, assholes. I am more than my kinks. I AM MORE THAN MY KINKS. Assuming that everything I have to say, even on this blog, is related to my personal kinks or to the fact that I’m kinky is dehumanizing bullshit. You are literally treating me like I am less than fully human if you act like I have one and only one interest, that I could never possibly have an interest in or something to say about anything that isn’t directly related to kink. Only badly written characters are that one dimensional, literally all actual humans care about more than one thing in their lives. Even the most dedicated activist sometimes just goes for lunch with her sister to catch up on her life. Even the most driven attorney sometimes listens to a comedian’s podcast. Even the most obsessive nerd takes a break from the machine learning code they’re working on and plays a game with a friend. So why the fuck can’t I have more than one interest? Why the fuck don’t I get to be a person too?

It’s not as if I’ve never talked about anything unrelated to kink on this blog. I’ve yelled about blackface, about racist violence, about violent misogyny, about not as violent misogyny, about how ridiculous it is to assume women “aren’t visual” when mainstream porn might as well have been designed specifically to turn us off, about how women should have the right to have sex for money if they damned well want to, about why people who think there should be a straight pride parade are ignorant douchebags, about how much I hate being told that I need to forgive, about people being bad at polyamory in multiple ways, and about how utterly pathetic concern trolls are. I’ve also talked about games, web comics, and how much I miss my kitty. Sure, that’s a small subset of all my posts, but it’s obviously not unusual for me to talk about things other than kink.

So again, why the fuck can’t I have more than one interest? Why the fuck don’t I get to be a person too? How come non-kinky people get to have interests that have nothing to do with the way they like to have sex but I’m treated like a one-dimensional kink bot?

In case you’re still not getting it, here are some more examples. I like wine. I’m a hobbyist wine nerd – I like going to wine tastings and I get excited about fancy multi-course dinners with wine pairings. What the everloving fuck does my interest in wine have to do with me being dominant? What does my love of dry rieslings have to do with me being a sadist? What does my general dislike of lighter reds have to do with my knife kink?

Oh that’s right, NOTHING. Because I’m a human fucking being with more than one interest.

I also like food (I’m sure that’s shocking to hear from someone who likes wine). I like trying new restaurants, I like finding ideas online, I like enabling my husband when he has ideas about delicious things we could make if we got some new equipment, and I just like food a whole lot. What the fuck does my love of sushi have to do with me being dominant? What the fuck does the unreasonable amount of smoked salmon I eat (the smoker was so, so worth it) have to do with me being kinky?

Oh that’s right, NOTHING. Because I’m a human fucking being with more than one interest.

I also like fantasy novels. I love reading about what it would be like if fairies really existed or if magic was actually a thing. I love reading about worlds and about people who are nothing like anything I encounter in my daily life. I love reading about people saving the world, or saving their city, or just saving themselves. What the fuck does any of that have to do with my kinks or my d/s orientation?

Oh that’s right, NOTHING. Because I’m a human fucking being with more than one interest.

Are you all seeing the theme here? Acting like I only have one interest is treating me like I am less than human. If you’re going to do that, fuck all the way off and take your ridiculous dehumanizing bullshit with you.