Not Just Bitchy turns two!

Wheee, I’ve been blogging for two whole years! I mentioned that to my boyfriend, and being a smartass the first thing he said was “So, are you going to talk about ageplay?”

Hey, why  not? Let’s talk about ageplay.

So, uh, I don’t actually know much of anything about ageplay. I’ve listened to a couple of podcasts where it was at least mentioned, it comes up now and then in Fetlife groups I read, but that’s about it. If I get anything completely wrong here, I’d appreciate someone letting me know.

Here’s what I do know: ageplayers, much like furries, get unfairly dumped on. Sure, there’s a level of ridiculousness in dressing up like a tiger or wearing a diaper, but is that really that much worse than arbitrary slave positions or S/slashy speak? At least the tigers aren’t making their writing pointlessly difficult to read. If fursuits and crayons don’t do it for you that’s fine, but there’s no need to be an asshole about it. And while we’re talking about assholery, ageplay is  not about pedophilia. Come on people, if you wouldn’t run out and bang a little kid in grownup style clothing, then why would a pedophile be interested in an adult dressed in childlike clothing? Also, plenty of people do ageplay in a totally nonsexual way.

When somebody mentions ageplay, the first thing I think of is diapers and crayons. Adult babies/diaper lovers are probably the best known part of ageplay, but they’re not all of it. Age play just means role-playing an age other than your physical age. If a middle-aged couple role-plays being teenagers sneaking out of their parents’ houses to make out down by the river, that’s age play and hey, no diapers involved! And of course there’s the ever-popular naughty schoolgirl, an idea that’s been beaten to death both in mainstream media and in the scene.

As bored as I am of the whole schoolgirl thing, there is a reason it’s so popular. That kind of age play, like so much of the stuff we do, is about power, innocence, and breaking taboos. And it conveniently involves people who are physically, if not mentally/emotionally mature. The power part is fairly obvious, who is less powerful than a young girl (particularly if you’re role-playing her teacher)? Then there’s innocence. Closely related to power, enjoying being the one to give someone a new experience is not exactly a rare kink 🙂 There’s also the power differential involved when only one of you knows what you’re doing. And finally, there’s taboos. Anything forbidden becomes tempting just because it’s forbidden, giving a huge erotic charge to both things you’re not supposed to be doing, and people you’re not supposed to be doing anything with.

Given that age-play can involve such fundamental kinks, it’s kind of surprising it’s not more popular. But of course, even the weirdos need someone to look down on. I guess “your kink is not my kink but your kink is okay” only applies when it’s convenient.

4 thoughts on “Not Just Bitchy turns two!

  1. Wow, it seems like you’ve been writing much longer than that.

    Haven’t commented much lately, but I read your blog regularly. Congrats, and here’s to a few more good years of it.

  2. Hey, congrats Stabbity, one more year and Not Just Bitchy can cellibrate it’s Leather anniversary, i’m guessing that means two years is the nappy/diaper anniversary…?
    I’m not exactly convinced by age play myself but having never experienced it I can’t comment too much. I prefer Dommes to either be a fair bit older than myself or younger, which I guess is a less dramatic version of age play. Maybe i’m weird like that? 😀
    Anyway, keep up the blogging, ’tis awesome!

  3. To me there is something very erotic about being in the possition os being suboordinate. This doesn’t mean I have a thing about boning someone who iis old enough to be my mother or father. This just means that I enjoy roleplay. Age play to me means I specifically seek out someone who is much older. This isn’t the case. I seek out a connection. A human counterpart to what I can offer. If you are a few years older that means I connected to some one a few years older. Its not a fetish of mine that they be a certain age. Its a fetish that I want them in a dominant role and I want to know they know what to do with that role in a relationship.

    Congrats on your two years stabbity

    Just A Slut

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