How to arrange a gangbang as if you’re a fucking grownup

Not so long ago some stupid creepy fuck in my area posted a personal ad that convinced multiple people he was trying to get some poor girl raped. That creepy fuck fucked up so badly that I very strongly and very bluntly agreed with someone I can’t stand just to have a chance of protecting someone from that loathsome asshole.

On the upside, there is something we can learn from Creepy McRapester and his creepy, rapey thread. But first, a bit of a disclaimer:

It is OK to fantasize about being the subject of a gang bang. It is OK to get off on it. It is OK to plan to actually do it. It is OK to go through with that plan. It is OK to be super fucking turned on by anonymous sex. Absolutely none of that makes you a bad person or in any way means you could ever possibly under any circumstances deserve to be harmed.

What’s not okay is to so profoundly fuck up your planning that it’s a near certainty that someone will get raped. To be absolutely 100% clear: IT IS NEVER OKAY TO RISK RAPING SOMEONE FOR A SCENE. NO SCENE IS THAT IMPORTANT. NEGOTIATE IN PERSON LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING GROWNUP YOU STUPID FUCK.

Okay, we’re all on the same page now, right?

If you want to set up a gang bang or abduction scene (or a two in one), it is simply not that complicated. Oh, here’s another disclaimer: I have never done this and probably never will. However, I have the vaguest hint of a concept of common sense which is really all you need to make sure nobody gets raped – yes, gangbangs are never perfectly risk free but neither is having a shower. Seriously, it is not that fucking complicated.

First of all, the gold standard of consent is to talk with the bang-ee IN PERSON. You absolutely must be able to identify the person who wants to be surprise gang-banged WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT. IF THERE IS ANY DOUBT WHAT-SO-FUCKING-EVER DO NOT RAPE HER. You absolutely must be absolutely certain about what she wants to happen, what she doesn’t want to happen, when it should happen, where it should happen, how to tell if she’s not having fun anymore, who to call if she’s not having fun anymore, how to tell she if is having fun, and for shits sake you had better fucking know what her safeword is.

Okay, but maybe her fantasy is to not know who is coming for her. Again, wanting that does not make her a bad person.

And again, it’s really fucking simple (not easy, but simple) to do this safely. First, she needs someone she can trust absolutely. This should be someone she has known for multiple years and played with many times. This person should then look for people they have known for multiple years and have watched play many times and above all, people whose former partners have good things to say about them. False accusations are near-universally bullshit – you are more likely to win the lottery than be falsely accused of rape, you are more likely to die of alcohol poisoning than to be falsely accused or rape, you are more likely to be killed by an asteroid or comet than you are to be falsely accused of rape, you are more likely to become an NFL player than be falsely accused of rape, and finally, men, you are 82-MOTHERFUCKING-THOUSAND TIMES MORE LIKELY TO BE RAPED YOURSELF THAN TO BE FALSELY ACCUSED OF RAPE. So let’s not pretend false rape accusations are a thing – if your ex partners accuse you of assaulting them, it’s probably because you fucking assaulted them. If you’re arranging a gangbang for someone you presumably care about, why the shit would you take any unnecessary risks? Choose people you know are safe goddammit.

Once you find these people who you have known for years and have vetted the shit out of (convince your female friends you will believe ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING they tell you, then ask them for the real dirt on every one of those guys. Women share all kinds of things with each other that they don’t bother to tell men because it’s not worth the hassle of explaining to some douchebag that no, a short skirt does not mean you’re asking for it what the fuck is even wrong with people), you talk with them in excruciating detail about what your friend wants to happen, what she doesn’t want to happen, when it should happen, where it should happen, how to tell if she’s not having fun anymore, who to call if she’s not having fun anymore, how to tell she if is having fun, and what her safeword is.

Sure, the longer you’ve known all of those men the more likely your friend who wants a gangbang has met some or all of them, which does kinda ruin the anonymity part. That’s kinda just too fucking bad. If anonymity is that important, wear a fucking mask. Or cultivate a deep years long friendship with someone who lives in another city, and have him recruit people from his circle of friends who he has known for even more years and trusts absolutely.

Note that I have not mentioned recruiting total fucking strangers as an option because that’s fucking idiotic. The best case scenario is a totally unacceptable risk of the gangbang-ee getting raped, and the worst case scenario is a near certainty of her getting raped. DON’T FUCKING DO IT. What kind of worthless asshole takes a stranger’s word that that girl over there who he has never talked with in person totally wants to be ambushed and gangbanged, no for really real, she totally does? Get back in your dumpster where you belong and never touch another human being again.

While arranging a gangbang is never risk free, it is simply not that complicated to minimize the risk of the gangbangee getting hurt. It is totally okay to want to be gangbanged or to be part of gangbanging someone, but it is absolutely not okay to fuck it up to the point where you convince multiple people that you are trying to get someone raped. GET YOUR FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER.

6 thoughts on “How to arrange a gangbang as if you’re a fucking grownup

  1. The thing that wigged me out most about that thread were the random dudes piping up to go “Sure, I’m in!”

    Holy shit, dudes. This isn’t “Hey come shoot some hoops with me.” Engage your brain for one second!

  2. I remember a chick put a personal ad on FL once saying she had a fantasy of being raped by a stranger – AND INVITED PEOPLE TO COME DO IT. Posted her address. Said she’d leave her door unlocked for the next few days.

    My first thought was: “Ohhhhh shit I hope she typed her address VERY CAREFULLY because wouldn’t it just figure she’d make a typo and give the apartment number of some woman who didn’t know anything about any of this but also happened to leave her door unlocked…”

    My other two thoughts happened at about the same time: “What kind of idiot guy would actually DO this? So much could go wrong” and “I bet she fantasizes about rape NOW but let’s see how she feels when someone chooses to come in while she’s taking a dump or just settling in to watch a movie or something.”

    There were, of course, a bunch of replies from dudes all excited about the idea. I’m honestly kinda disturbed by how many men come panting after the idea of unrestricted anonymous SUPER PROBLEMATIC sex. Like if you wanna respond to some chick on Craigslist looking for a consensual one-nighter then go for it but when someone’s all “I want you to ‘rape’ and ‘terrorize’ me without any discussion first!” and guys are all over that it’s like…dude. DUDE.

  3. I guess overall I feel like people who have problematic kinks (rape, racism) as THE VICTIM are just a product of our fucked up society – I get it and I don’t begrudge them their kinks – but people who have those same kinks AS THE PERPETRATOR are really likely to actually be skeevy people. Hence my feeling disturbed by the throng of guys who inevitably clamour all over a woman looking for really sketchy play.

    • I guess overall I feel like people who have problematic kinks (rape, racism) as THE VICTIM are just a product of our fucked up society – I get it and I don’t begrudge them their kinks – but people who have those same kinks AS THE PERPETRATOR are really likely to actually be skeevy people.

      I kind of feel the same way? On the one hand, I don’t think people really choose their kinks, even if those kinks are topping for Stuff With Issues. On the other hand, you get the problem of Doesn’t Know It’s Skeevy. I think a person who is aware of stuff like consent and bodily autonomy will take some time to at least try to make sure it’s the fun kind of creepy for the bottom rather than actual harm. But there’s folks who just seem to blithely stroll through life not particularly concerned with whether they’re raping someone–they just want the sex! Now! Why are you cockblocking them? Or whatever.

      And it’s generally that latter category that’s all “ZOMG!!! Chick that wants dick and doesn’t mind if it’s rape??! SIGN ME UP” and that skeeves me out nineteen times more than the dom with a rape-play kink who engages his brain enough to negotiate for scenes with women who want it. (And then of course there’s the Down-Under Canines of this world, so.)

    • (I mean I say this as someone with recurring dramatic fantasies about total power over a harem of (generally male) sex slaves where their consent doesn’t particularly come into it one way or another. Gender-flipped, that same fantasy from the male top’s side would be something I’d want to know he knew was “playing with fucked-up shit” and not just “situation normal.” F on m, same thing, but I think the steeper the real-life power gradient the more likely I want to know they know how to handle it. But I still think that having the fantasy itself isn’t necessarily skeevy–it’s all how you express it.)

  4. Isla, my sub wants this scene. Oh my, does he. To be restrained, spanked by a room full of women and used as a sex toy. “trying to break him” (his words) and no safeword. He admitted this fantasy about 6 months ago, and we are carefully negotiating it and will continue to do so. I think there is a way to do this, part of me wonders if he could handle it. A dom I know who is 20+ years in says this is not a good idea. He says he would never trust someone who is no safeword.

    I’m working on one of Tristan Taorminos books right now, and she writes quite a bit about this particular kink and seems to think it is okay. So I’m conflicted.

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