Pet play, or why does the kitty always have to bottom?

At Westcoast Bound I went to a workshop called Pet Play 101 by Ponygirl Bixy, and she said something that really resonated with me. She described pet play as (for some people) being a release from human responsibilities. For example, someone who was nervous about meeting new people and making small talk might have a much easier time of it if they were in pet gear (such as a muzzle and paws) that made it clear they couldn’t talk or shake hands.

Sometimes, I really don’t feel like talking (really, a shy introvert doesn’t always leap at the chance to hear her own voice? What are the odds?). It would be awesome to have a socially acceptable way of signalling that it’s not that I don’t like you, I just don’t fucking want to talk right now.

Aside from not always feeling particularly social, depending on the headspace I get into in a scene, I may feel even less vocal than usual. I think it would be really fun to do a scene where any expectation of  me talking was completely off the table. Given my lack of interest in bottoming some of you are probably very confused right now, which brings me to my next point.

Why is the pet in a pet play scene always the bottom? I know in a lot of ways it’s convenient to have the pet bottom, but come on, have you people never met a cat? I love cats, but even I fully acknowledge that they’re often adorable, furry little assholes. Other animals might not lend themselves as well to topping, but with all that presenting their fuzzy tummies to be rubbed, then savaging your hand when you fall for their trick, cats are clearly sadists.

As for assuming the human is always the one in control, I can’t imagine that ‘in control’ is how anyone locked in a cage with a lion would feel. Or the bottom could be chained up as a sacrifice for beast in the woods, or suddenly pounced by a particularly large house cat, or hunted through the play party, or …

Instead of making it the mute pet’s responsibility to make themselves understood, why not make it the human bottom’s problem to figure out what the big scary kitty wants and how to get out with (most of) his skin intact?

10 thoughts on “Pet play, or why does the kitty always have to bottom?

  1. Pet play hasn’t so far been my thing, but what you say about cats is truth. 😀 (Clearly you have met the cat I’m pet-sitting this week!!) I’m intrigued by this hunter-and-prey dynamic as well. Hmmm.

  2. My petplay is more roleplay than anything else, and I don’t tend to bottom overmuch with it. Ask Pearl anytime about how much of a jerk I am as a kitty when we’re chatting ^.^

  3. Isn’t Bixy awesome?

    I’ve seen that with pony play as well – the trainer/handler is in “control”, but sometimes the ponies get loose…

  4. Hi
    My partner and I are swiches that love pet play
    But we constantly play as a cat and her human
    Sometimes I reward him for his good and loving care with handing him over my collar and letting him walk ,
    and at other times I am a wild cat and he is my prey
    And I hunt and become his dom

  5. I like this post.

    I’ve never done out-and-out pet play before, but I’ve often jokingly said that I’m a kitty or compared myself to a lion or other big cat. I could certainly see myself doing animal roleplay in which I was the top and/or the one in control.

    I like the idea of my partner and I both being lions, actually (well, me a lion and him a lionness), so I can fuck him roughly from behind while biting the back of his neck.

    Lions have it good. They just sleep and fuck and wait for the wimmenz to bring them food.

  6. The fact that in our pet play I am always the pet and my partner always the human doesn’t make me the sub
    Usually I’m the wild cat the hunts him down
    I think that’s the difference betwin playing a domestic pet or a wild animal
    And it’s the difference betwin training and experiencing our wild aspects
    Anyway that’s our thing
    And we love to be creative , unexpected, imaginative and amorphous at our pet play

  7. I have no idea why this post is getting so much love lately but it’s awesome! It’s also really nice to hear that other people have any interest in pet play where the pet is the dom – I was a little worried I was just weird for wanting to play that way.

    And yes, the militant lack of imagination is just sad. I wish people could look at all the possibilities in kink and say “oh that’s interesting but it’s not for me” instead of “WHAT? You’re doing it wrong!”

    • Even before we realized that for me, bottoming isn’t submission and we’re happiest with me in charge, when my boy and I tried pet play for the first time, I looked at him from the collar end of the leash, dug my heels in and growled “kitties do NOT go for walkies.” He’s done well to remember since that kitty has claws! So not weird at all! Or at least, not weird alone.

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