At this point, it shouldn’t be any sort of surprise that the kink scene has a serious problem with abuse. Sometimes I really understand why maymay is so enraged by the clusterfuck that is the organized scene that he wants to burn it down.
As fucked up as the scene is, though, I don’t think there’s much point in burning it down. People are always going to want to gather together with other people who share their interests, they’re always going to end up organizing those gatherings once they get big enough, and they’re always going to have to deal with a certain amount of politics and asshattery. I believe if every kink organization shut its doors today, all that would happen is tomorrow people would start building new organizations and run into much the same problems the old ones already have.
What I would like to see is new organizations started and existing ones infiltrated and taken over by people who have a vision of a scene that’s safe for everyone and a plan to work toward it. What I’m curious about is what that ideal kink scene would look like.
For starters, my ideal scene would not be solely white, middle-class, and able-bodied. As a white woman I have no business issuing pronouncements about how make people of colour feel welcome, but I can certainly say that it’s ridiculous to assume that only white people are kinky. The middle-class bias of the scene is at least theoretically easier to fix – we need events that are free or barterable, events at different times of day so that people who don’t work 9-5 Monday – Friday can come, and classes that are relevant to people who can’t drop $100 dollars on a flogger. Oh, and while we’re talking about an ideal world, free or very cheap childcare and help with transportation would be great too. My city has pretty decent public transportation, but if you live in the wrong place you’re going to have a hell of a time getting to any events. Finally, the ideal scene would not have every bloody event up a flight of stairs! I know it’s tough to find venues that will accept kinky people at all, but either we care about our events being accessible or we don’t.
Also, my ideal scene would welcome everyone equally, not greet young, attractive, submissive women with open claws and submissive men with utter disdain. Instead of this bullshit about how doms and subs are ‘supposed’ to act, everyone would treat each other strictly as equals outside of any power dynamics they’ve specifically negotiated. Anyone who so much as implied that doms are due any special deference or that submissive people should know their place would be laughed out of the room.
Along with that, any art used to decorate kinky events would not focus on submissive women! In a perfect world, we’d be able to handle the bizarre and apparently terrifying idea that there are straight women in the scene who might enjoy looking at pictures of men.
Speaking of kinky events, in my ideal scene women would feel just as comfortable coming to a party in basic black as men do. Fuck the idea that women owe the scene (and the world) a sexy display for daring to take up space. There wouldn’t be any pressure to play in public, either. People who’ve never played at a party would be taken just a seriously as people who play in public every chance they get.
And finally, the big one. The ideal scene would be free of systemic abuse. I know that a certain number of assholes are always going to find their way into the scene, but an ideal scene would root them out quickly and actually support their victims. This, I’m sad to say, is the hardest one for me to envision. Between the idea that the scene is the only place to meet other kinky people, our natural attachment to social status and fear of rocking the boat, and our whole society’s massively fucked up ideas about abuse, a scene that doesn’t tolerate abuse is tough to even imagine.
But to take a stab at it, I think a safe scene would take everyone’s stories seriously. Even if it’s uncomfortable, even if the accused is a friend, we would listen when someone says that they didn’t feel good about what happened. We would have official anti-harassment policies to take away the excuse that ‘I didn’t know’ and to show people that abuse is taken seriously. We would strictly enforce respect for social consent at absolutely all of our events, no matter how casual. By social consent I mean that it should not be necessary to tell a person “No” more than once, whether that no is “No, I don’t want to do a take-down scene with you” or “No, I don’t want to sit beside you.”
Once we hear about anyone’s boundaries being disrespected, we would fucking well act on it. No, I’m not saying we should go on a witch hunt every time we hear about a scene not going perfectly, but when we do hear about something, we react appropriately. If that’s just a jerk who had to be told no twice before he respected it, we have a talk with him about how he can push people’s boundaries or he can continue to be welcome in the scene, but not both. If that’s a case of rape or assault, we ban the abuser until they turn themselves in to the police, do their time, confess fully to everything they’ve done wrong, and show a thorough understanding of why it was wrong. Even then, we would only tolerate the presence of a thoroughly reformed abuser if their victim/s were completely comfortable with them being back in the scene.
While I do think it’s important for people who fuck up to be able to redeem themselves, that redemption can never be more important than the people who have been hurt. We should never let geek social fallacies be more important than the well being of people in the scene, either. Even if someone hasn’t actually touched anyone inappropriately or pressured them to play, we really do need to exclude people for being assholes. Like Naamah said in a comment:
Why the FUCK should I feel safe in a group that allows people like that to remain?!
Whether it’s sexism, racism, ableism, or just general douchebaggery, by letting assholes roam freely we’re telling people that they should not feel safe here. Fuck that noise.
What about you, readers? What would your ideal scene look like?
I’d say that about covers it. Though while we’re talking more accessible classes, how about some classes on consent, courtesy and how not to be a douchebag? So the folks who are ignorant rather than assholes have a chance to learn before they hurt someone (or get hurt themselves).
I think more classes like that would be awesome. I’ve seen just a couple, but I think people who’ve been in the scene for a while fall into the trap of assuming everyone knows how to be a decent human being. I’m not sure how to do a class like that without sounding like a condescending jerk, but I do think trying to educate well meaning people who just don’t know any better is a worthwhile goal.
It sounds like your “ideal kink Scene” isn’t so much a kink scene as it is a “loose collection of people who like one another and sometimes having kinky sex with one another in a semi-public space where other people who are respectful of their having sex and can enjoy being in the presence of that sex are also existing, and occasionally having sex with one another.”
That you think this requires a “scene” at all betrays some deeply messed up assumptions about the nature of organization; “people will form groups on their own if they don’t join the groups already present” is not a compelling argument reify rather than raze what currently exists.
What your description of an ideal does fundamentally require, if you actually stopped to consider its structure rather than simply fantasize about its utopia qualities, is actually the lack of a scene.
To actually have that, it will also be necessary that individuals’ have a more fully conceived awareness of their own complicity in abusive dynamics, which is what corrupts most well-intentioned collective action in the first place.
But razing what currently exists means that only people currently in the scene will have any contacts to continue that kind of interaction. Anyone new to kink will be far more vulnerable to abusers feeding them misinformation without a community to counteract that.
Case in point: I’m incredibly lucky that I started going to munches around the time I first got involved with a D-type, because he turned out to be a manipulative jerk. If I’d met him a year earlier, all my worries that no-one could possibly be both a sadist and a good person would have been confirmed. I would have run away from kink and hated myself for wanting it for the rest of my life. However, because I’d met so many caring people at my local munch, I had plenty of counter-examples, as well as people to support me after I got hurt.
Obviously there are problems and dangers in the scene, but at least in my local (UK-based) scene I don’t find these to be any more egregious than in the general population. From what people have told me this was not always the case, but there is definitely a trend towards better support and consent. Burning the scene down removes spaces where people can meet and play more safely (I won’t say completely safely) than through meeting people online or in vanilla life.
As a young person who is fairly new to kink (especially as a female s-type) I REALLY appreciate having spaces where I can meet people socially or for learning purposes, rather than just gather for play and hope none of the play partners I meet one by one aren’t psychopaths. There are definite improvements that can be made to scene spaces, but I’m thankful that they’re there as a starting point.
That’s one of the reasons I want so badly to believe that overall the scene has done more good than harm. There are absolutely fucked up power dynamics that enable and cover up abuse, but helping people come together and share information is also a way to fight abuse.
It’s kind of scary to think of how isolated I’d be as a kinky person without a local scene or an internet. Thanks to the internet, I think a new local kink group would spring up in about ten minutes if the old one closed its doors, but if I could only contact kinky people whose phone numbers I had, I’d live in fear of offending my main contact and being cut off from the scene forever.
Oh, I don’t think an organized, in-person scene is necessary at all. Ideally, I’d like to see the kink scene work like the boardgame scene, where there are meetups available if you want to go to one but they’re in no way considered necessary.
That’s a good point, I totally forgot to mention that the ideal organized, in person scene is the one that people feel completely free to take or leave. Thanks to the internet it’s a lot easier than it used to be to find a kinky partner without going to an event, but there’s still this gross perception that people who come to in person events are more trustworthy or ‘real’ than people who don’t.
All of this. That $100 flogger is going to be outranked by this month’s bus pass for that awesome public transit system, I’m sorry to say, and I know I’m not the only one.
Queer people should also be welcome. In the ideal kink scene, I’d be able to be comfortable as the F in an F/m dynamic…but also as the f in an F/f one. (Or indeed as a lesbian top, on the days I swing that way.) It seems logical to me that a kinky space ought to be *more* accepting to gay & trans* people than anywhere else, since we’re all a sexual minority. Online, I’ve been able to find spaces where that’s true, but I keep hearing that The Scene is largely hets-only–I don’t know if that’s true, since the money and the disability issues stopped me before I could get in the door to see. 😛
It seems like what kinky groups need is the same thing all the other parts of our lives need–more being decent to each other, and more intentionality in what that actually means, ie not being sexist or racist or classist or ablist or homophobic or transphobic, etc. In a space that’s specifically about sex those things might look a little different in the details than they do in a space that’s about, say, employment or music or mountain climbing, but it’s the same principles, I think. It’s just past time that we applied it more thoroughly here.
Facepalm. Queer people should absolutely be welcome. I can’t believe I forgot to mention that.
I’m sad to say that in my experience the scene is largely het. Not that there aren’t any queer people, but they’re few and far between. In theory the local scene is pansexual, and they wouldn’t openly turn away a queer person, but I find it hard to believe that there are that few kinky queer people in the whole city. We have no shortage of women with male primary partners who sometimes play with women, which unfortunately does give the impression that het partnerships are the “real” relationships, and women only play with women to turn their male partners on.
I did assume you meant it even if you didn’t add it in. 🙂
And yeah–your local scene is actually mine, IIRC, and the three kinkiest people I know in this city are a queer submissive cis woman (whose partners have mostly been women), a pansexual submissive guy, and a switchy bi trans woman. 2/3 of whom are fairly involved in the kink ‘scene’, at least a whole lot more than I am. But there are lots of kinky queer people who, I think, do more with other queer folks than with other kinky folks, if you see what I mean. (And the few munches I did go to were wall-to-wall M/f, alas. More power to them, but alas for me.)
Ouch, yeah. There have been times in my life where I wanted to be the partner of a het couple, for the “yay sleeping with men and women both!” thing, and I know there are plenty of bisexual women married to men or whatever. But you have to actually know the individual situation, because yeah, that is an unfortunate (and unfortunately common) implication to say the least.
Cool, I wasn’t sure if you were over here on the island or on the mainland.
Yeah, that’s pretty much how we roll out here 🙁 Lately a femdom group has started up, but it’s still very het and much more female supremacy and high protocol than I’m interested in. With the way the local scene has been exploding lately, it would be really cool to see explicitly queer parties.
If I were queer I imagine I’d be much more comfortable at queer parties than at a pansexual party filled with straight male doms and straight female subs. Even as a straight person, I’m not super thrilled about showing to a party where I know people are going to assume I’m submissive because I have boobs.
Damned if I can remember where, but I read an interesting post somewhere explaining that there are so many bisexual women married to men because math (relative numbers of men attracted to women and women attracted to women, to be more specific), basically 🙂 Even knowing that, I’m not sure a little bit of play with another woman before skipping back to their male partner actually says very much about a group being queer-friendly. And I think it’s telling that it’s pretty common to see women play together but extremely rare to see men play together.
My first munch I went to involved gorgeous hot ladies clad in leather corsets. I was SO disappointed to find out they were hetero subs! 😛 (Why oh why couldn’t at least one have been a queer domme? Catering to meee? ;))
Yeah, I…rarely (other than certain Internet spaces) identify as the sub side of my switch-ness in public, because of the default-M/f assumptions. I only sub to ladies, dudes, GTFO. So I play up my F/m side more, which is certainly a true thing about me–plus lets me bond with the rest of you lovely toppy women.
And I don’t quite know how to say this without insulting women who *are* submissive (which I really don’t want to do!) but the predominance of women submitting to men is really hard for me to take from a queer perspective especially. Like, please do have sex the way you want to, dom men and sub women! –but that our larger society (even outside of the scene) seems to think that’s the way it should be even for vanilla couples really grates my cheese. Makes me want to go join a lesbian commune or something, even though I hate communes. 😛
As you know, I would love love love for men playing together to be a Thing that was Done! For their own enjoyment, obviously, but also to delight their lady friends. C’mon, people, I am here for this.
(I, er, hasten to add that it makes *perfect sense* that the sexed-up ladies would be the submissives dressing as their doms desired. But at the time…)
And yes, I think we’re in the same town. Small Internet!
I’m speaking here from a hetero point of view. It may be different for gays.
Can a utopian ‘scene’ exist in a world in which traditional social constructs of ‘masculinity’ and ‘feminity’ still largely hold sway?
Given the illusory false selves that most of us have to live with, we do not inhabit a world in which men and women are automatically comfortable or ‘at home’ in each other’s company, even where the spark of mutual attraction burns bright. In existential terms our ‘being in the world’ is problematic.
Can such a ‘scene’ exist in a world in which power relations are still defined and modelled along patriarchal lines?
The traditional narrative about power is laughably one-dimensional. That is part of the reason why dominant females are frequently conflicted and not entirely comfortable with their own power, particularly where that power intersects with human vulnerability. A cursory read of the femdom blogs shows this.
It’s also why the common tropes of power exchange are steeped in antediluvian characterisations of ‘masculinity’ and ‘femininity’, which is why the stereotypical image of the dominant woman looks like a pot-pourri of male fetishes, and the stereotypical image of the submissive male is that of a weak and worthless halfling.
The kinky utopia will require nothing less than a cultural revolution in which we break out of the traditional gender roles that thousands of years of patriarchy have brainwashed us into accepting.
Good point. Changing the scene itself is kind of the tip of the iceberg when it comes to building an ideal scene.
This is like saying that if we immediately disbanded every company that sells food, no one will be able to farm.
Everything else you said stems from this flawed premise, and therefore you might be able to do a lot less damage in the world if you questioned every single assertion you made in this comment.
Sheesh.
Mod note: edited to remove open insult to the commenter you’re replying to. Comments will be more or less civil or they will be edited to make them so.
Um… no. If you want to use that analogy, what I’m saying that if we disbanded every company that makes food, existing farmers would be fine; lots of people would figure out how to farm on their own, many of them successfully; and a significant number of people would end up depending on manipulative jerks who told them that this is totally how you farm, you’ll never be a real farmer if you don’t do this thing I want you to, if you don’t defer to me I’ll leave and you’ll never eat again for food.
I’m not saying it’s impossible to meet kinky people in vanilla life, or online, but my own lived experience is that it makes you vulnerable to do so without resources–including other kinky people–to support you if things go wrong, particularly as a single person new to kink. The scene could definitely do with airing out, but overall it’s a much safer space to start exploring BDSM than their bedrooms for a lot of people.
Yep. I’ve heard horror stories about new subs, usually young women, whose so-called “masters” have fed them all kinds of bullshit about how “real” subs don’t have limits, and if they were serious about d/s they would ____, and no other master will ever want them if they can’t be good subs, and everybody does it this way, I’m not wrong you just don’t measure up, and…
There’s plenty wrong in the scene, but there’s also plenty wrong with not being able to find other people and ask them for a reality check.
“Also, my ideal scene would welcome everyone equally, not greet young, attractive, submissive women with open claws and submissive men with utter disdain. Instead of this bullshit about how doms and subs are ‘supposed’ to act, everyone would treat each other strictly as equals outside of any power dynamics they’ve specifically negotiated. Anyone who so much as implied that doms are due any special deference or that submissive people should know their place would be laughed out of the room.”
fucking amen. Whenever I say or do this, I get strange looks.
One day I really hope people who think it’s ridiculous to treat doms like they’re special will be the majority. I don’t know if that’s necessarily *the* most harmful idea in the scene, but it’s certainly one of the worst.
Hi!
I’m really new to the “scene” and I’m trying to decide if it would be worth it to go to events/meetups. I’m doubtful for all of the reasons you mentioned here – I am one of those alienated pocs with an unconventional work schedule. I’m worried that people will expect me to display as sub, specifically as an attractive/naive/young sub. I’m also worried that there will be blatantly racialized undertones to any interest I receive, seeing that I live in the southern US (that’s problematic for me…but maybe not for others, and that is fine).
Anyways, I’ve read a lot of stuff on problems within the “scene”, and I just want to let you know that your blog is very helpful to me. People like you give me hope that the scene can eventually root out it’s problems, or at least root out the people who perpetuate those problems.
I really wish I had something reassuring to tell you. It’s certainly possible that your local scene is haven of decent human beings, but I don’t think I’d count on it. If I were you, I’d try to make friends online first, and maybe try an event later if those friends tell you good things about local events.
Awesome! Sometimes I’m not sure my ranting actually does anything besides letting me blow off steam 🙂
This is what I am saying you are wrong about.
I am certain you are not telling cherryglitter her lived experience is wrong, because that would be some pretty blatant douchebaggery.
Also, if you have a fetlife login, then this, this, this, and this are pretty blatant examples of newbie subs getting bad information from their doms about things like whether it’s okay to have limits and benefiting hugely from having somewhere to ask questions.
And these new subs who were suddenly abandoned by their ‘masters’ probably appreciated the reassurance they got too.
You can argue that it’s only “a few”, not “a lot” of people who find the scene a safer space than their bedrooms to explore, you can argue that the scene overall has done more harm than good, but you can’t say it hasn’t helped anyone, any time, ever.
Thank you 🙂
I also think the nature of the scene is different in different places, and it’s likely that the local scene/part of the scene I came into contact with (monthly munch in a smallish UK town where nearly everyone knows each other and would be able to get rid of/warn newbies about any abusive characters) is nothing like the scene someone exploring BDSM in, say, San Francisco would find.
While there are some universal difficulties, I wonder whether people who want to tear the scene down completely are dealing with particularly toxic local communities? Because it’s entirely possible for a local scene to be safe and friendly–I’ve since also gone to events in bigger UK cities, and found the same (so my town isn’t a complete anomaly).
This is a very dangerous, not to mention totally stupid, idea.
People like cherryglitter seem unwilling to consider the possibility that they are better-served by “The Scene” than others, and so critique of the system that serves them is therefore a product of a bad apple. That’s not how systemics work, idiot.
Well! This was an interesting exchange. 🙂
It would seem that this:
pulls pretty strongly against your other stated assertion:
I suggest you come up with an explanation that can resolve this tension, or else you really have no business trying to define an “ideal” for everyone, do you, Stabbity?
Arguing utopics based on anecdotes does not suit you. Unless, of course, you feel it does. In which case, you have nothing of value to add to this conversation.
Have a nice day.
Stabbity’s statements aren’t at all contradictory. All she’s saying is that there is a perception that people met online are sketchier than those met in person, and that that isn’t the case. She’s not saying that people met in person are sketchier than people you meet online; just that any new individual you meet, whether online or at a munch, has the potential to be either trustworthy or dangerous. The venue has relatively little to do with it.
What public events DO have that private meetings or messages don’t is a crowd of people who are able to take a newbie aside and say “hey, you look uncomfortable about where that interaction is going. Are you okay?”. It doesn’t always happen, but when all kink is conducted in private it can’t happen because there are no witnesses. I do think that check-in culture needs to be encouraged more, but the seeds are there, at least.
You’re arguing in extremes when there’s a perfectly good middle ground on which to have a discussion which allows people to express concerns about the scene as well as report ways in which it has helped them.
I am so tired of this ridiculous, stupid, down-right wrong-headed idea. I wish it would die […]
Mod note: comment edited because I will not have anyone saying they wish another commenter would die on my blog. If you would prefer this comment be deleted rather than edited, let me know and I’ll delete it.
Did you just fucking wish death on a woman for saying she found something helpful in avoiding abuse that you have problems with?!
What the actual fuck.
(Sorry Stabbity. But I saw this before you edited it, and what the fuck.)
You’re making a huge number of assumptions about me, my friends, and the events we attend. Not everyone operates in the same context; not every BDSM community is the same. Yes, there are systemic issues that need fixing in most communities. But the problems are not always as egregious as you make out, and the benefits can far outweigh them.
I don’t have any personal experience of the US scene, but as a UK-based kinkster I have to say that the scene you describe–from events to dynamics–bears very little resemblance to my experience. I’m happy to accept that there are systemic problems in various parts of “the scene” but you don’t get to call me an idiot and wish death on me for speaking about MY experiences in MY community (which I am perfectly capable of viewing through a critical lens, thank you very much) which you have absolutely no experience or understanding of.
I don’t think you understand what I am trying to say. Let me clarify: I no more need to understand your personal positive experience in the BDSM Scene to justify my argument that it should be destroyed than I would need to understand your personal positive experience spending time in prison to justify my argument that the prison industrial complex should be ended.
That you believe your personal positive experience somehow justifies the continued survival of a fundamentally corrupt system is a sign of your complicity, privilege, and ignorance, and is in fact the evidence I am using to judge you as wrong precisely BECAUSE every single argument you have made in support of the BDSM Scene rests solely ON your personal positive experience. Beyond the fact that regardless of whether or not your personal (anecdotal) experience was merely okay, pretty good, or wonderfully revelatory does not put you in a position, either morally or ideologically, to determine that the harm caused by such a system is justified for other people, or that your personal positive experience somehow counteracts said harm in some kind of ridiculous zero-sum game (“but it’s not ALL bad”), it is the positiveness of your personal experience that makes you more likely to be unwilling and unable to accurately determine harms such a system does to yourself and others. Put crudely, you are letting your orgasms blind you, and that is a morally reprehensible thing to do, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
That you needed this explained to you in the first place makes you not worth any more of my time.
I see your point, but I would also posit that you’re failing to acknowledge the experiences of a large number of people other than myself. I’ve used my experiences as an example, but I have looked critically at the scene I and my friends have encountered (which includes rolequeer people and people of colour, who I have discussed this with) and what I am saying is that your scene is not my scene.
Using your analogy, it’s like you’re looking at the prison industrial complex in the US and using it to criticise prisons in Norway, which function very differently.
Your refusal to acknowledge that a global scene may not function in the same way everywhere is parochial and the fact that you lash out with insult and abuse to anyone with a different experience indicates that you’re not interested in the way the world works outside your little bubble, so I have no interest in continuing this conversation.
(Note: Okay, I misused the term rolequeer up there; however, it still applies in many ways. I wouldn’t identify myself as rolequeer on all counts, but I do reject the binary setup of dom/sub and consent/abuse. The assumption that people haven’t thought critically about their kinks because they use traditional terminology is patronising and incorrect. And I’m done.)
I understand that you are using yourself as an example, cherryglitter. I also understand that you posit I have not considered the many other anecdotes to which you refer. And I also understand that you think you understand assumptions I’ve been making about your inability to think critically about your kinks.
As a response to that, I am telling you that you are wrong on all counts: that the conclusions I draw from your examples are the exact opposite of your assertions, that my conclusions do consider the many other anecdotes to which you refer (and that I have first hand experience in the BDSM Scene of not one but two continents), and that I’m saying I believe you when you say you have thought critically about your kinks but that your personal analysis is flawed, lacking, and pathetically underdeveloped. Further, I am saying that your unwillingness to accept the facts about which you are wrong makes me think poorly of you, and that your inability to articulate any novel argument in response to my mine makes you not worth any more of my time.
In short, [personal insult removed by moderator] I apologize if this was not clear in my prior comment. I hope it is now.
@maymay
That’s the second comment of yours in a row I have had to update to remove personal insults. I have things to do this week besides clean up after you, so you’re blocked from commenting until sometime next week at the earliest.
Thanks, Stabbity. I find this kind of verbal aggression unsafe and threatening and the exact opposite, in fact, of how decent kinky people should treat one another. Even if it’s not directed at me.
[/back to lurking]
“I suggest you come up with an explanation that can resolve this tension”
The tension between the idea that sometimes the scene has problems, and sometimes it’s helpful?
That it’s sometimes helpful, often oversold? Sometimes harmful, but sometimes better than not having even that as an option?
…oh. It’s complicated. Not one size fits all. Like…basically every other human endeavour on this planet.
You don’t say.
There is no tension there. As cherryglitter already stated, all I meant was that there’s a perception that people you meet online are just wasting time and will stand you up if you try to meet with them in person, which is untrue. People should be judged on their actions, not on whether it was convenient for them to come to a munch or not.
Not only is there no tension there, but over and over in the post you appear not to have read very closely, I used phrases like “What I’d like to see…” and “in my ideal scene…”. And then at the end I asked “What about you, readers? What would your ideal scene look like?” which clearly implies that I do not believe I have the only worthwhile ideas about what an ideal scene would look like. When I lapsed into more universal language, as in “And finally, the big one. The ideal scene would be free of systemic abuse.” I was hardly saying anything that any decent human being would disagree with.
If you want to talk about who has any business doing what, let’s talk about whether you have any business making grand proclamations on a post you clearly didn’t read very carefully. Yes, I’m being a little bit snippy, but I have very limited patience for people who haven’t been paying attention.