I can’t stand the word ‘domme’. It’s both stupid and pointless. The sad thing is, I understand why other women would want a feminine word for a dominant person. ‘Dom’ is really just a simple abbreviation of the word ‘dominant’, but it’s often taken to mean ‘male dominant’. Because men are the default dominant people, of course. We can’t have anyone implying that women are just as ‘really’ or ‘truly’ dominant as men are, we have to have a special word to set them apart, to remind everyone that they aren’t real doms, they’re just ‘dommes’. Someone might take a woman on the internet seriously if they weren’t forewarned that she identifies as a woman, and we just can’t have that.
Given the masculine connotations of the word dom, I understand why women would want their own word, a way to say ‘no, I’m not just a pale imitation of a real dom, I am my own kind of dominant’. I just hate the way it sets us apart. Why can’t we say male dom and female dom? Honestly, it’s not that many more keystrokes. Granted, some people are too lazy to type ‘you’ instead of ‘u’, but those people are stupid and it’s just as well that they make it obvious.
Also, the word ‘domme’ is especially pointless because it’s pronounced just like ‘dom’. If you seriously think ‘domme’ is pronounced ‘dommay’, I’m honestly surprised you’re clever enough to have gotten to my blog in the first place. At least ‘domina’ sounds different, even if it’s just as pointless as ‘domme’.
Honorifics irritate me just as much, but that’s a separate issue, and roo-roo already covered it on his blog.
A companion post to Real Dommes Don’t Have Sex.
Just like women never actually want sex, men absolutely always do. They never have headaches, bad days, just want to cuddle, or ever, *ever* have a lower sex drive than any woman on the planet. It’s pretty clear how this belief is cruel to men: any guy who ever turns down sex when a woman offers it worries that he’s less of a man, and faces mockery from anyone who finds out what a terrible crime he committed against his gender (‘You mean you turned down pussy when I haven’t gotten laid in weeks? Traitor!’). And of course it reduces men to the level of hormone-crazed animals, unable to control their ravenous lusts.
Now, suppose you’re the woman in that scenario – you’re tried to get laid, and it didn’t work. Suppose that you’re more or less conventionally attractive, that in fact you’ve been complimented on your body. If you’re not some hideous troll-creature, then why would a man pass up an opportunity to have sex with you? The reason he couldn’t stand to fuck you must be something else, something much worse than a mere lack of physical attraction. Your personality must be so unspeakably awful that even in the presence of nice tits and a sincere enthusiasm for cock he still can’t muster any interest in sex (not that I’m bitter). Physical flaws could possibly be fixed (or at least hidden), but what are you supposed to do about a personality defect so horrible that your very presence is a mood-killer?
On the other hand, the guy could just not be into you. That’s why the myth that men absolutely always want sex from anything vaguely woman shaped is a filthy goddamned lie.