Why yes, I have totally given up on numbering these 🙂
I’ve seen a lot of guys worry about being the perfect submissive or whether they’re doing submission right. Considering how many manchildren there are out there who never give a second thought to whether they’re actually good at submission it’s kind of adorable, but I still want those guys to relax. If you’re worried about whether you’re doing submission right, I have one simple message for you:
THERE IS NO UNIVERSAL PERFECT SUB CHILL THE FUCK OUT.
There is literally no way whatsoever for you to be perfect for everyone so just relax. What matters is being the best “you” you can be, not trying to twist yourself into knots to be perfect for a huge group of people who all want different things.
Using myself as an example, my ideal sub would be terrible for someone else. I’ve said this a lot and i’m getting a little worried i’m boring all of you, but still: I love anticipatory service and am very low protocol. Other women hate anticipatory service and love giving orders and having rituals and slave positions and stuff. Their perfect sub would irritate the shit out of me. Take some fucking initiative! I’ve got shit to do besides order you around!
Someone who’s really into obedience on the other hand, would be thinking: “Stop it! if I wanted you to do something for me I’d fucking tell you, stop trying to push tea/snacks/a book/whatever on me!” if they tried to have a relationship with the perfect sub for me.
Do you see how there is no “perfect submissive” for everyone? There’s only a really great submissive for that one special woman. For fuck’s sake guys, the idea that there could possibly be “a perfect submissive” depends on women being a hive mind. Do I have to get into how much I fucking hate it when men act like all women are interchangeable?
Imagine if dominant women assumed all submissive guys wanted exactly the same thing just because they’re male and submissive. You’d hate it! Not all guys like pain! Not all guys like humiliation! Not all guys like bondage! Not all guys like needles! Not all guys like getting orders! Not all guys like exhaustively learning all of their doms preferences so she never has to give you an order! If you’re a person, for fucks sake do me the courtesy of assuming I’m a person too.
To be fair, there are douchebags of all genders who will tell you you’re not submissive because you don’t share their tastes. While there is certainly something to be said for figuring out which side of the sometimes very fine line between submissive and bottom you’re actually on, those people are usually assholes you shouldn’t listen to. There are about a zillion ways to submit and all of them are just right for the right dom. If you actually care about what your dom wants and enjoy giving her control, even over limited parts of your life, congrats, you’re a real sub.
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: guys, you’re probably fine the way you are.