I missed a couple years there so I thought it was time for another shoutout to everyone who is really fucking tired of being beaten over the head with the idea that all mothers are loving and kind and not abusive.

And if you have cut off contact and still feel shitty, this article might conceivably help. I don’t love the line about “But it is also true that going no contact isn’t a “solution” in any traditional sense.” but the entire rest of the article is about how literally zero people cut off contact with a parent without agonizing over it and how it’s totally normal to feel shitty afterwards. Not having your parent (or other abuser) actively re-traumatising you is great, but you’ve still got to grieve for the non-abusive parent you deserved and didn’t get.