Full disclosure, I stole this idea directly from Ferns:
Words cannot express how much I hate youtube tutorials
2.5 mins to say 'use a magic eraser' is so fucking irritating I want to smash things!— Ferns (@Ferns__) September 19, 2017
YouTube tutorials make me want to set things on fire, they are unbelievably aggravating. I don’t know what makes people think yammering on about nothing for 99% of the video and having maybe 3 seconds of actual useful instruction is going to get them more subscribers because all it makes me want to do is kick them in the shins. Most of the tutorials I come across are for nerdy things and you know what’s great about stuff you do on a computer? YOU CAN TAKE A FUCKING SCREENSHOT. Seriously, there is no programming task that can’t be explained just as well with screenshots and text, which also has the advantage of allowing readers to skim it quickly to get an overview and search for the one part they actually give a shit about.
To be fair, there are some things video is better for. If you’re learning to cook or do makeup or make a new kind of craft, it’s really helpful to see exactly what motion the person is making and how they’re holding the tool. But even then, you need to get to the goddamn point. If you want to spend ten minutes (aka a YouTube eternity) talking about the theory of the thing, your personal experiences doing the thing, other ways you could do the thing, fine, but do it AFTER you show people how to do the fucking thing. That way nobody will wish they could find you just to poop on your lawn.
Play everything at double speed. If the yammering isn’t helpful, turn the sound off. But if you get used to it (ramp up slowly), double speed is normally fine. And some people sound better for it (this guys voiceovers, for example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRoreGyS-l4)
I cannot stop laughing at the fact that you linked to the pooping lady. Just… WTF is going on there?!!!
I’d totally point her at bad youtuber’s lawns!! *there, and there, and over there…*
Ferns
Oh, and also +a gazillionty what you said!
Ferns
That one was just too bizarre not to share. There’s some solid grudge-holding going on there that I can respect, but who poops on someone’s lawn?!