One of many, many things that irritates the shit out of me is when lazy assclown community leaders say that they don’t exclude anyone from their events. Yes you fucking do you lying sacks of shit. What you actually mean is that you can’t be fucking bothered to kick out assholes so you stick your fingers in your ears and shout “LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU” whenever anyone tells you there’s a problem. And then you slap the bandaid of “inclusivity” on top of the open sewer you’re building and pretend that everything is fine.
When I say you can’t include everyone, I mean that in the most literal possible way. if you make assholes feel welcome, you’ve CHOSEN to make me unwelcome. You are saying that my safety and comfort does not matter. OWN WHAT YOU ARE DOING you lazy sacks of shit. It is okay to have an event where I’m not welcome. For example gay men’s events, queer spaces, trans spaces, submissive only spaces, people of colour only spaces, survivors of sexual assault only spaces, littles only spaces, swingers/casual sex spaces, etc, etc. It is okay to have an event that only for certain people! It’s sad as fuck to pretend that you can invite total assholes, and me, and assume that’s inclusive. It’s NOT. Why the fuck would I hang around with assholes and event organizer who don’t give a shit about me when I could be doing anything else?
By saying “we don’t exclude anyone!” what you’re saying is “we don’t care that people are sometimes complete fucking assholes who need a good excluding.” If you’re going to give me that message, grow some fucking balls and tell me to go fuck myself like a fucking grownup you pathetic fucking child. if you want to run a community you need to make tough choices sometimes. I’m not saying it’s fun or painless to exclude anyone. We’ve all been the weird kid who got picked last during gym class, we know how much it sucks to be excluded and we don’t want to do it to anyone else. But here’s the thing: that doesn’t fucking work. No matter what you do, someone will be excluded. Your choices are to deliberately exclude assholes or implicitly exclude people who don’t want to hang out with assholes, but there is literally no option whatsofuckingever where you can possibly include everyone.
Include assholes if you want to, but for fucks sake admit that’s what you’re doing. You’re not fucking kidding anyone anyway.
PS, if you’d like to read basically the same idea with fewer swearwords, check out Ferret’s Choose Carefully Who You’re Kind To.