You are not interchangeable

I’ve been seeing a lot of submissive men down on themselves lately and it makes me so sad when submissive men don’t realize how great they are. You are not a dime a dozen and you are not interchangeable!

The men who are interchangeable are the ones who call themselves submissive but think women exist to make their boners happy. Those guys are boring as shit. Men who actually care about their doms and want to make them happy are amazing. You can never be boring when you bring your whole self to the relationship, pay attention to your dom and put effort into making her happy.

Even if you actually do care about women, there are just so many terrible stereotypes out there it’s no wonder submissive men’s confidence takes a hit. How much porn have we all seen where the dom is bored or contemptuous of the sub? How often are men told that a real man is never vulnerable, never hands control to someone else, never has feelings or wants to be wanted? When you see stuff like that all day every day, of course you start thinking that dominant women don’t actually like submissive men, or that if there is a dom out there who actually likes submissive men, you’ll never meet her.

Guys, awesome submissive men who are actually compatible with an individual dom are rare and precious! Just being compatible on vanilla levels like values, life goals, how you manage money, etc is hard enough, finding someone who is also interested in the same kinks, the same sort of power exchange, the same amount of protocol is fucking miraculous. Non-kinky people search for the right partner for years and we all know that’s normal, so why would we think it would be easier to find the right kinky partner when kink makes things so much more complicated? You are not a failure or unlovable if you don’t find the right dom instantly, some people look for decades.

Using myself as an example, I’m a very low key, low protocol, anticipatory service kind of dom. The most perfect high protocol sub in the world would be terrible for me, protocol just doesn’t do it for me. The most obedient sub who waited for orders the most patiently would be terrible for me, I hate giving orders. The most amazing 24/7 “here, take control of literally everything” sub/slave/whatever label they like would be terrible for me, I just don’t want that level of responsibility for someone. People who fit me on a kinky level and who I get along with on a vanilla level are very rare and obviously precious because of it.

And they’re hot like burning too 🙂 Submissive men definitely do not get appreciated enough for how hot they are. In my case, I have trouble putting how much I like submissive men into words. To use a really terrible (and dorky) metaphor, it’s like trying to explain why I like avocados so much. I like avocados because they’re delicious and I like submissive men because they’re awesome. I mean, people who like making me happy? And like being all helpless and biteable? And make great noises when I hit them with stuff? What’s not awesome about all of that?

Submissive men are awesome and anyone who thinks otherwise can fuck right off.

6 thoughts on “You are not interchangeable

  1. With all the “be a man, be a man in the right way, insert list here” stuff that guys get, no wonder some guys seem to think that every woman wants a dominant guy, and if she says she’s into submissive men she must be…settling, or something. Putting up with his submissive tendencies because of other reasons, but not because she actually wants it. Not helped, I suppose, by past relationships some sub guys have had with submissive women, who would rather have a dom for a partner.

    But it’s not TRUE, and it’s sad that so many still think it is. Like, no, submissive is not second-best for me! Dom guys are where my eyes glaze over! Bitey bite nom nom rawr. 😀

  2. My pee-pee is sooOOooOOOoo big! [Mod note: comment translated from pissbaby to english for reader convenience]

  3. My being a submissive doesn’t bleed over into my day-to-day life, although that may be because I’ve yet to find my Domme. I say “some of us” with the mindset that I can’t be the only one that feels this way; some of us are “down” because the urge to find romantic fulfillment in the way a sub does seems to carry this public view that a sub has to be submissive in every single aspect of his/my life, with every relationships, romantic or not. I’m not going to sit here and be dominated by just anyone. I’m not going to give my obedience to anyone. Either a Domme can take it, or she can’t, and if in fact she can’t, then she isn’t the one for me. I want to be caught, not given (even by myself); captured in the moment and held.

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