I went to a women-only play party and it was awesome!

Like it says on the tin, I went to a women-only play party and I had a fantastic time. I’ve blogged before about how much I resent feeling like my job as a woman (at a party or otherwise) is to be decorative, so it was fucking amazing being at a party where I didn’t have to worry about that at all.

I’m not sure how much of it had to do with not having any men at the party and how much was just the way the organizers ran it, but it was an incredibly relaxed party. Keep in mind that I’m an introvert, feeling relaxed at a party isn’t exactly my natural state 🙂 It was so nice just to hang out with a bunch of other women. I didn’t feel like I was on display or like anyone gave even a fraction of a shit about whether my outfit was hot enough. I can’t even explain how great it was to know that it wasn’t that everyone was too nice to comment on whether I was doing a good job of being decorative, but that nobody cared. At all. It was a complete non-issue.

Another thing that was an absolutely delightful non-issue was women playing with women. I’ve done that in front of men before and I’ll most likely do it again, but I’m always aware that a) as a woman topping, it’s not unlikely that some douchebag in the audience is just itching to tell me I’m doing it wrong, and b) as a woman playing with another woman, some douchebag in the audience (quite possibly the same one) probably thinks we’re doing that purely to make him feel funny in his pants. It’s irritating as fuck to have the weight of other people’s idiotic assumptions on me, and it was really nice to go to a party where I didn’t have to deal with that.

I also had a really lovely scene with a friend where I hit her with different stuff for science 🙂 Or more precisely so she could figure out what she liked since she hadn’t gotten to bottom very much before. There’s nothing not fun about watching people go from “I’m not sure, can you do it again?” to “yes, more please!” Hitting people with things is really relaxing for me in a way I can’t fully explain, too.

As a bit of an aside, since I’m not sure I’ve talked about this before, I enjoy playing with women even though I’m straight. Not all kink is about sex, and my bottom’s gender doesn’t seem to matter in terms of having fun in a scene. What matters to me is that we like each other and they give me fun reactions. I think I’d feel more comfortable playing really hard with a man because I do have some societal hangups about seriously beating on people who are smaller than I am – I’m not exceptionally tall for a woman but I do loom over a lot of other women – but that doesn’t mean I can’t have fun with women.

If you’re a woman I highly recommend going to a women-only party – just check and make sure the organizers know trans women are women because you don’t want to party with assholes. The one I went to was one of the only parties I’ve felt like a first class citizen at and I think everyone should have a chance to experience that.

4 thoughts on “I went to a women-only play party and it was awesome!

  1. Keep in mind that I’m an introvert, feeling relaxed at a party isn’t exactly my natural state

    That is so awesome. 😀

    And yeah, all of this. Also, I think I actually watch scenes more at a women-centric party? Maybe similar to your worry about hitting people who are smaller than you, when I’m at a pansexual party (= 80% M/f, 10% M/F/f, 5% F/m, 5% F/f), I have a lot of reactions like “Oh FFS, not another dude whipping a woman!” to the seventeenth M/f couple on the floor. Fair or not, that is part of what goes through my head, even if I’m totally convinced that the f in question is having the time of her life. When it’s all women, though, it’s like I don’t even have to wrestle with the gendered implications of anything. It’s like…here’s people, tying up people, hitting people…so I can settle in and enjoy what they’re actually doing to each other.

    Plus it makes F/f scenes the default, which is pretty nice as a queer person. (And also means that, since most women are actually straight, I don’t assume that any given girl/girl couple are together in a gay way. But anybody who is, can totally blend in. Which is kind of nice.)

    10/10 would do again, basically.

    • When it’s all women, though, it’s like I don’t even have to wrestle with the gendered implications of anything.

      Yessss, it’s so nice to just not have to worry about that.

  2. Yay! It’s another lovely post! I particularly love your last paragraph! I will definitely check if I will ever have the chance to try one out.

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