I was meaning to talk about how dorky my sense of humor is anyway, and then some douchebag on the internet had to comment on how if a woman likes guys who are funny she’s probably vanilla. Fuck that noise. Some kinky people certainly take themselves too seriously, but saying that if you actually think I can’t have a sense of humor (or be a total dork) because I’m dominant you can fuck right off. I’m a person, you assholes.
So, let’s see some examples of the stuff that cracks me up.
My favourite part of Texts from TNG is showing the terrible jokes to my husband and seeing his “I don’t even know how to explain what’s wrong with you” face.
On the twitter side, Poly Horror is both funny and kind of horrifying. If you’ve spent any time on the internet, you’ve probably seen people who sincerely believe the stuff Poly Horror shares as horror stories.
I'm not allowed to date lesbians because they won't have sex with my boyfriends.
— Poly Horror (@polyhorror) August 25, 2015
You know you’ve seen a post in Novices & Newbies from that poor girl. Sometimes you have to decide whether to laugh or throw chairs.
Every time we meet a girl who's perfect to complete our family she disappears after a few weeks. Why are poly girls so flaky?
— Poly Horror (@polyhorror) January 16, 2015
I’ve seen entirely too many person ads from this guy. Some people just deserve to be laughed at, because god knows they’re never going to make the connection between their bad behaviour and their bad results.
In general I love parody twitter accounts. Very Lonely Luke and Emo Kylo Ren are some of me favourites lately, but for the sake of not spoiling anyone for Star Wars: The Force Awakens I won’t embed any tweets. Paul Graham Googling is also funny as long as you’re a big enough nerd to know who Paul Graham is, but not such a self-absorbed Silicon Valley asshole that you think he can do no wrong.
Something that might have a little broader appeal is Simple Zen, which is here to make fun of all those schlocky “inspiration” accounts. What’s not great about the bio “I’m mostly about finding ways to include arson in a simple Zen lifestyle”?
My children may lack food and clothes but what they don't lack is poetry and oh I see it now, yeah take them this is not a good home
— Simple Zen (@Simple_Zen) November 11, 2015
To you who say the true meaning of Christmas is to fake your death and let your loved ones deal with the aftermath, I thank you for the tip
— Simple Zen (@Simple_Zen) December 5, 2015
Nightvale Radio, on the other hand is just delightfully weird and morbid.
See? You never needed that wand or that cape. The power to feel unfocused shame and anxiety was within you this whole time.
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) November 11, 2015
History is written by the lizards.
— Night Vale podcast (@NightValeRadio) October 13, 2015
Texts from Superheroes is also fantastic.
That one is originally from here, I just reblogged it to my own tumblr so wordpress would embed it nicely.
And what could be better than cute animals being funny? I’m sure this isn’t the original source for this video, if anyone does know where it actually came from let me know in the comments. Have some penguins tripping over a rope.
Oh, almost forgot Windows 95 Tips!
…we’re clear on the fact that I’m a total dork now, right?