Clearly there are too many women on Fetlife

Fortunately, some fucktard has taken it upon himself to cleanse Fetlife of women by suggesting that Fetlife add a function to search for people by Location/Sex/Orientation/Age. Out of 1,919 suggestions this is the shit that gets voted up to first place. What the fuck is wrong with all you? Is it that much of a problem that there are women on Fetlife? Is it too easy to get laid? Are you all plagued by hordes of women actually replying to your messages?

There are certainly problems with Fetlife, but the relative lack of spam is not one of them. If you think being able to spam all of the women within x miles of you is a good idea, pull your head out of your ass and think for a second. What makes your desire to spam women different from every other straight guy looking to get some kinky pussy? Let’s be honest, no one who wants to be able to message every woman in the same time zone is planning to send a carefully considered email talking about why they chose her and why they think she’d want to talk with them. If you do send messages like that, having a search feature wouldn’t change anything for you because you’re probably messaging people you met through a discussion group.

But back to the spammers. If you stupid bastards could search by gender and location, you’d spam everyone while telling yourself you’re such a special snowflake that no one else is doing the exact same thing you are. Now instead of only getting spam from people who are patient enough to page through everyone in their city, all the women on fetlife get a flood of shitty, one line messages asking if they have any pics from every man with one hand free. What do you suppose happens then? Does she go through those messages one by one on the off chance there’s a needle in that haystack?

No, you waste of space, she gives up on messages entirely and participates only in discussions if she doesn’t leave the site entirely. People, if I wanted to have my time wasted by every stupid fuck from here to India, I’d still be active on collarme.

If you want to spam people, go back to collarme. Oh wait, you say there’s no-one there but pro doms and scammers? Gee, I wonder how that happened. It’s almost like women don’t enjoy getting spammed constantly.

Have you all learned nothing from the dismal failures of,, and By all means, campaign to ruin fetlife if you think the abnormally high percentage of women active on the site is a problem. If you’re not a fucking moron, you’ll appreciate Fetlife for making it easier, not harder, for you to meet people.

15 thoughts on “Clearly there are too many women on Fetlife

  1. What do they call it in the US – candidates for the short bus? Target market for velcro shoelaces? I mean, no offence to the special people but my experience with fetlife was that hanging out being reasonable got me invitations from all sorts of interesting people, even though I wasn’t soliciting them (maybe *because* I wasn’t soliciting them). The “come and hang out at event X” type, not the “I want to …”, because I a: no photo and b: present as male. My female-presenting partner got way too much spam, a lot of it from people unaware that Australia is quite a long drive from, well, anywhere in the US. It’s not rocket science, people (I mean “men”). And much as I would like to say that the US is especially bad, the bits of Australian kink I’ve seen seem to have have similar problems.

  2. The only time I’ve ever wished for a search feature like that was when I was looking for a specific person and I had forgotten their username. Since only searching by location is available at the moment, that made a lot of pages to scour through for them. Especially since they live in Chicago.

    Otherwise, why would I want to message someone out of the blue? Something has to motivate me to message them. Even as a guy who doesn’t get nearly as many messages as women on here, I get really excited to see that I have a message and really disappointed when it turns out to be some stupid spammy message that doesn’t really have anything to do with me other than that I received it.

    I don’t want the women to go away. *frown*

  3. Not that I have boundless faith in the leadership of Fetlife, but I do believe that that is one feature they have said they would not be implementing.

    Personally, I think it could be handy if first they added the ability block people, report them, and mark I.P. addresses as belonging to spammers.

  4. Thank god you made it easy to edit your search in less then 10 seconds ^_^
    Just edit script and change ‘male’ to ‘female’ and ‘m’ to ‘f’
    Forget the script that already has the female and F on the next command

    html_string += ‘ Female’;

  5. Real considerate to us lesbian subs out here wading through 50,000 pages of men and straight Dommes just to find a single profile we could look at for consideration. Thanks a lot.

  6. To the person behind the fetlife asl searcher. You’re being a total asshole simply fpor the sake of being an asshole. And you weren’t you would have at least added a decent explanantion instead of telling me to go fuck myself. I always write personal messages only to the girl I have something in common with after reading their profile. What is your problem with straight men who are simply looking for someone in their area to explore a new, sometimes a little scary, new thing with them? Do you hate us? Do you automatically assume we just spam everyone who identifies as female simply because we’re straight men? What is wrong with you?

    I hacked the script you wrote and I encluded the option myself. Fuck you, asshole.

    • Awww, were your sensitive straight man-feelings hurt because I didn’t write you a personalized explanation? You poor thing!

    • I only let this comment out of moderation because I believe in letting people make fools of themselves in public if it’s that important to them. Actually reading what I wrote is the price of admission for getting a personal response out of me.

    • Considering I have a profile there that states I am a woman seeking women/woman-identified individuals, yet weekly I get at least one message from some machismo slapnuts who is convinced I want his nut: I think the author is right to assume straight men want to spam every woman they see on FL.

      • I’d like to believe it’s a small percentage of straight men who spam every woman they can, but just a few spammers is enough to ruin it for everyone. Congratulations straight guys, you are the reason you can’t have nice things.

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  8. So, your point is you didn’t add a female search because too many men will spam all of them? That’s a lame cop out answer. It works both ways. I think I speak for many many people, and not just males, females also, in that it’s a real time consuming annoying thing to search for who you’re interested in and have to look at every single person, male and female no matter how far or near they are. Even if you didn’t add female to the search, at least have a selection of “miles” from your zip code. I’ve been sitting here waiting for this search engine now for 10 minutes, and it’s still searching.

  9. The search doesn’t even work no matter if you put, “return” 1 page of results or “0”. It just searching forever, nothing comes up. Idiotic.

  10. Comments on this post are now closed due to pointless fucking whining. If spamming random people is that important to you, go to and leave me out of it.

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