People often talk about kinks like they’re set in stone, but they’re really not. It’s actually not unusual to acquire a kink from a partner (play or otherwise), almost as if they’re contagious 🙂
First, the obligatory disclaimer:
Absolutely none of this should be considered in any way licence to pressure anyone to try something they’re not comfortable with. If a kinky activity turns you off, scares you, or just doesn’t feel right, you have absolutely no obligation to ‘be a good sport’ and try it. I’m strictly talking about things that you’ve never really thought about, or are puzzled by, or tried once with someone else and are willing to try again even though they didn’t do much for you the first time.
There are three main ways that ‘catching’ a kink from someone else tends to work.
1. If someone you like really enjoys something, and you like seeing them happy, doing the things that they like so much can set up an association in your mind between that thing and happy fun times. I think this is especially powerful with sexual kinks, but I’m sure it can happen with non-sexual things too.
2. It’s a particularly intimate form of explaining what it is that a particular kink does for a person. If a kink doesn’t make sense to you, of course you’re not going to be interested in it. But if someone can explain it to you and you can see how they react to it, a kink can suddenly become much more interesting.
3. Making a connection between the new kink and something that already does it for you. This is pretty closely related to seeing what it does for somebody else, but slightly different. Some people kink on specific things just for themselves, but sometimes people also kink on things because of what they represent. Rope bondage, for example, can be about the aesthetics of it and it can also be about having someone completely at your mercy. If it’s about the latter, then handcuffs or mummification might also do it for you.
I never used to have any idea why people were interested in chastity devices. Most of them are still just weird looking to me, and not being super into delayed gratification I don’t tend to like strange contraptions getting between me and what I want. What changed for me was a former play partner who really, really liked chastity play and finding a device that didn’t totally turn me off. For me, metal = sexy while plastic = ‘meh’.
Seeing somebody enjoy chastity play made the whole thing make a lot more sense to me. Anything that turns someone on so intensely gives me power, and what’s not fun about power? Plus, it ties into one of my core kinks, helplessness. If someone desperately wants something and can’t have it, I am all over that.
Basically, if you don’t know if you’ll like something, give it a shot, you might end up loving it.