BECAUSE THEY DON’T HAVE TO MAKE IT A KINK TO GET A WOMAN TO PULL HER FUCKING WEIGHT AROUND THE FUCKING HOUSE.
Okay, let me back that up a bit. Lately I’ve been seeing this perception that dominant women have this weird fixation on making their poor, mistreated submissive men make themselves fucking useful and *gasp* wash some fucking dishes or sweep a floor like some sort of sex-hating harridan instead of doing her duty to his poor neglected penis and “forcing” him to eat her out for hours (after dressing up in his favourite fetish gear, of course) while whapping him with a riding crop every so often.
There’s also this assumption that dominant men aren’t into service, that they actually care about doing kink right (read, sex sex and more sex, plus a little leather and ordering his submissive around), unlike those horrible dominant women who don’t seem to know what a dick is for (getting serviced, obviously).
Show me one dominant man who truly, honestly would not care if his live in submissive didn’t keep his house the way he liked it. Show me one dominant man who doesn’t like it when he comes home to a tasty meal that he didn’t have to worry about doing the grocery shopping for. Dominant men fucking love service, they just don’t have to call it that because it’s assumed to be part of submission when a woman does it. It’s only dominant women who need to put a special label on PULLING YOUR GODDAMN WEIGHT LIKE A FUCKING GROWNUP because the idea that a man, even a submissive man who supposedly worships women, could actually do some fucking chores like a fucking adult is so outlandish that it needs its own special name.
I am not even slightly kidding. Read Captain Awkward Letter #813: Labor & Leisure, and #506 & #507: It is 2fucking0fucking1fucking3, so why is it so hard to divide up household chores? Don’t forget this fantastic Unfuck Your Habitat letter Ask UfYH: Don’t Give Me This Whole “Men Don’t See the Mess” Bullshit.
Read the comments. Read all the comments particular for letter 813 (Labour & Leisure). Count how many women had to divorce their fucking husbands because those worthless manchildren couldn’t clean a fucking house even to save their marriages.
Dominant men, vanilla men, and frankly thoroughly worthless men (seriously, did you read the comments on Labour & Leisure?) get hours and hours of extraordinarily high quality service for the princely sum of not treating a woman quite badly enough to make her leave. If men were expected to clean up after their families and do all the grocery shopping and cooking and lunch packing and budgeting and coupon clipping and washing and folding and putting away laundry and keeping track of whether everyone has enough socks and it looks like little Emily is outgrowing her clothes again, time for another trip to the mall and scheduling home repairs and making sure someone is home to let the service person in and worrying about who wants what for dinner and whether there will be enough leftovers for lunches and keeping track of Aunt Flora’s health and how Grandpa Ed is doing since Grandma Jane died and how long it’s been since the guys came over and whether he needs to pick up some beer and snacks first and whether little Emily’s soccer practice conflicts with little Oliver’s art classes and who’s going to pick up the kids early on the last day of school before the break and who’s going to stay home with the sick kid and who’s going to get a birthday present for your mother you know her birthday is next month and and and… then dominant men would be all fucking over domestic service. Funny how you don’t have to make a big deal of stuff that just magically happens for you without putting a special label on it.
For fuck’s sake guys, when a man cleans the house that’s being a fucking grownup, not “domestic service.” It doesn’t need a special title or rewards or some poor woman standing over you in heels with a riding crop unless you are a lazy sack of shit who can’t be bothered to help out unless your partner does this weird little performance of making it all about your dick.
I want to be as harsh as possible here: if you were able to clean your home just fine when you lived alone and then mysteriously stopped when you moved in with a woman, YOU ARE DEFECTIVE. Fix your shit and stop pretending that it’s your partner’s job to make tedious chores sexy.
If you enjoy fantasizing while you do boring scut work, go to town. Personally I like to put on some high energy music and make up stories in my head to take my mind off how incredibly boring mopping is, but you do you. Just stop fucking pretending that cleaning your home like a fucking grownup is in any way whatsoever unusual or noteworthy.