One of my (many) pet peeves is people who think there is some sort of female dominant hive mind. Now, I’m sure they don’t literally believe we are the Borg, but I’ve seen far too many people asking what dominant women like as if we’re a monolith.
Asking “do dominant women like x?” makes no more sense than asking “do brunettes like x?” or “do 31 year olds like x?” If you wouldn’t expect brunettes or 31 year olds to like the same things, why would you expect dominant women to? Sure, being dominant means I have a little more in common with another dominant woman than I do with any other random brunette, but it’s still quite a small part of my life. Like everyone else I have a job, a social life (well, when work isn’t trying to eat my entire life), and hobbies that have nothing to do with how I like to get off. I have more in common with fellow gamers, programmers, or introverts than I do with any given female dom.
If you think ‘do dominant women like x?” is a meaningful question, either you think I am nothing more than my interest in kink, or you think dominant women are interchangeable drones in a Borg-like collective. Shockingly enough, I don’t like being reduced to my kinks or stripped of my individuality. As little as dominant women have in common, there is one thing we tend to agree on: we hate not being treated like people.
What I really don’t understand is why it matters what random dominant women you’re not in a relationship with want. If there’s a particular woman you get along with and would like to know better, treat her like a goddamn person and ask her what she wants. If there’s not, what good is knowing what a bunch of other women like when you do meet the right dom for you? ‘But 8 out 10 doms like it!’ is going to sway absolutely no one if she isn’t interested in whichever kink you’re trying to convince her to try. Even if 8 out of 10 doms really do like x, being able to do that isn’t going to convince someone you’re right for her.
My guess is that the men who ask if dominant women like x just want to be reassured that one day they’ll find a partner who shares their kinks. That’s a totally reasonable thing to want, but come on guys, you can ask for that without treating me like a faceless drone. And honestly, phrasing that request as “does any else like x?” is just irritating. It’s the internet, there is literally always someone else who likes x. Asking that question on a forum just makes you look like you’re too stupid or lazy to google it.
It’s also possible these guys want to know what dominant women like so they can be good subs. Unfortunately, treating us like we’re interchangeable is a terrible way to be a good sub, as well as being incredibly disrespectful. If you can’t treat us like people, no amount of back massages or pedicures are going to convince us to give you the time of day.
If you insist on treating us like a hive mind, don’t be surprised if that hive is mysteriously united in their total lack of interest in you.